Taylor Kelly has been going through an emotional roller coaster and has shared her experiences on the internet. She explains why she takes comfort in carrying a dollar to the house and the reason left everyone open-mouthed. Let me share her story. 17 Canadian blogger Taylor Kelly suffered a miscarriage in her first trimester and she got pregnant again. This time it seemed to be going well and she’d already reached her 8th month of pregnancy. She and her husband Austin were very excited and couldn’t wait to meet their son, whom they were going to name Jack. It was only a month before the baby’s room was ready, but disaster struck due to complications in uro in an accident with the umbilical cord. Jack was stillborn in December 2017. It was a huge shock for Taylor. She hadn’t seen it coming and her whole world seemed to fall apart.
Losing a child is pretty much the worst thing that could happen to a parent. She was emotionally shattered and soon began to develop psychological problems from the loss of her son. It is not uncommon for mothers to feel very affected by the loss of a newborn. If you think posttraumatic stress syndrome is only for soldiers or disaster survivors, I can tell you that it can happen to anyone who has been through a very stressful experience. Any event that leaves an emotional imprint can trigger PTSD symptoms. Taylor suffered from extreme anxiety attacks. She shared her experience in a heartbreaking YouTube video. She seemed crying on camera explaining what happened. She shared that her deepest need after the miscarriage was just to feel it, to feel the weight of a baby and to be able to hold it close to her. The video garnered over 12 million views and was shared far and wide. It also reached a special mother daughter pair and the seed was planted. Later, Taylor recounted that she was struggling to come to terms with her loss and had started carrying a Teddy bear wrapped in a blanket around the house. Meanwhile, Jacques room is a stark reminder of his son.
Ptsd can severely affect your life, from sleep and daily routines to your ability to concentrate and cope with everyday life. It can develop right after the experience. Her rear its ugly head months or even years after the event. However, Taylor didn’t know that. In the meantime, Ali and her mother Lorna, had seen her touching video and were working on something very special. You may never have heard of this concept. At least I hadn’t. But there seems to be a whole world revolving around the concept of reborn dolls. It’s a very lifelike doll made to look as much as a real baby as possible. It’s not just any doll, but pieces of art. The creation process is called Rebornin, and that’s where the name comes from. Since Reborn dolls became available in the 1990s, more and more collectors of these special items have emerged and there is now a whole online community around them. Making a Reborn doll is not easy and can be time consuming. The base is usually vinyl with many layers of soft fabric, different shades of paint and other materials such as acrylic, hairs and glass. To make the doll look as realistic as possible.
It has weight so that when you hold it in your arms, you feel like you are holding a real baby. If you see them, it is almost scary how real their expressions look. They are as real as their skin and limbs. Creating a Reborn is something you can do yourself or you can buy it ready made. Although it’s not cheap, well made dolls can be priced in the hundreds of dollars. Of course, this is not enough as you also have to dress the doll and buy a lot of accessories to take care of it, such as bottles, diapers and pacifiers, not to mention the nursery you have to leave it in. It’s almost like having a real baby. Google it and you’ll be amazed at how many people collect Reborns and what they do with them. Some keep the dolls at home, others like to take them out in strollers, confusing people into thinking it’s a real baby. Some Reborns have caused all sorts of events because they’ve been seen abandoned parking lots and reported by people who thought it was a real baby. But back to Taylor, some Reborns are made to look like a real baby, often a baby that has passed away.
From the photos, you can get a good idea of what a child looked like. Lorna and Alia had seen Shaq’s photos and decided to make a Reborn doll that looked like him. Ali and her mother have a company called Alya’s Reborn World. They make Reborns and sell them online. They also have a successful YouTube channel where they showcase their dolls and make up stories around them. Each Reborn has its own name and the doll they created for Taylor. They named Jackson and made him as close to baby Jacques as possible. They released a video announcing the gift to Taylor, and Taylor couldn’t wait to receive her package. She had reservations at first, but was happy to accept anything that could help her cope better with the loss of her baby. What followed was another emotional video in which Taylor shows the moment she unwraps Jackson for the first time. It was this video that left people speechless. Now the concept of using Reborns to help women recover from the loss of a baby is a bit controversial. Not all experts are convinced that this can help, and some consider it harmful. A doll can never replace a real child, and if the woman in question becomes so attached to the doll, she loses her sense of reality that is also a risk.
What do you think of the concept of reborn dolls? Let me know in the comments. In the video, Taylor shares the moment she sees Jackson for the first time. She has the doll in front of her and slowly removes the cloth covering her face. What follows broke my heart watching it and made me realize that although Taylor is an experienced YouTube star and no stranger to getting in front of the camera at this moment, it was her real and raw sign. She breaks down completely, gently touches the doll’s face and begins to cry. Why? Two of the following shots are cut off, probably because Taylor couldn’t control herself. She is then able to say that it is different seeing the doll in real life than seeing it in the video that Lorna and Alia had posted. Seeing it in front of her was a completely different experience and moved her in a way she couldn’t have anticipated. The reborn Jackson came with a handwritten card that read, Dear Taylor, we are so happy to be able to give you baby Jackson. We hope you love him as much as we do. We hope it brings you comfort and joy as you think of your Darling baby Jacques.
Love Lorna and alien. In the next shot, Taylor holds the doll in her arms and explains what happened to Jacques. She also mentions that she is now pregnant again seven months after she lost Jon and that this baby will be born in November. All of her emotions have made a huge impact and I think she’s incredibly brave to share all of this online for the whole world to see. And as I said, a lot of people watched the video and of course she got a lot of comments as well. Taylor explained that she made the video to help raise awareness for other parents who have lost a child, either to miscarriage stillbirth or SIDS. People had different opinions about it and some reacted very negatively. They thought the doll was creepy and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to have such a thing. However, Taylor explains that she found that she experienced very therapeutic effects just by holding Jackson. She explains that she keeps him in the room that was meant for Jacques and often goes in there alone and just holds the doll. I walk around the room with him in my arms looking through my son’s things and it brings me absolute joy and serenity.
Its weight is the biggest therapeutic benefit for me. She knows that the doll is by no means a replacement for her son. It is just a doll, but in some mysterious way it helped her cope with the loss of her baby Jacques, and that in itself is beautiful. Many people couldn’t understand her made nasty comments on the internet, while others simply stayed in watching a video. But for Taylor, it was comforting to hold the doll and walk around the house with him and that was enough for her. Being pregnant again has brought her many anxieties especially week 32 the same Jacques was born. It seemed like the longest week of her life but she overcame it and has given birth to healthy Scarlett. The little girl is now the joy of Taylor and her husband Austin’s life. And although they will never forget Shawk in the pain of losing him, she is slowly but surely moving on. I hope for her happily ever after and I admire her courage. Not many would dare to be so open and honest on the internet.